I'm at a tricky place: I'm 54 years old and I still dress like I did when I was 12. My closet and my storage unit are full of clothes I've had my whole life. I love to play dress-up, as queer as it sounds. When I was younger I'd wear anything that seemed like it had a character or a story behind it, like costumey party dresses and puffy skirts with crinoline under them. I still love those things. Barbie has always been a big influence on my style, especially the way she accessorizes. I still have all my Barbie-doll clothes from when I was young, and I've had human-size replicas made of some of them. (It's different when you have her outfits made bigger, though: When they're little there are just two snaps holding the jacket closed, but when it's made for a life-size person, you have to have a lot more snaps, or else the snaps have to be the size of a steering wheel.) And I'm a big wig person. I don't usually go out in public in them, but I recently had one made for $3,000, and it's fantastic. I think I'm going to wear it on Jimmy Fallon. I just can't wait to bring this wig alive! It was an extravagant purchase—an investment, like a piece of artwork. I plan to hang it on my bedroom wall because the theme of my bedroom is "haunted dollhouse," and this will seal the deal.

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I don't like to wear pants when I have to dress nice for something. One reason is that I'm short. Also, we never saw my mother in a pair of pants—not ever. I just think pants give it all away, you know? I like to remind myself that I'm a girl. My brother David once said something that always sticks with me. He was talking about one of our sisters—I don't remember which one—and he mentioned how she seemed to forget she was a girl, which can happen when you get older. You don't bother to brush your hair, or you wear the same shoes you've had since 1969. So that always stays in the back of my mind: Remember that you're a girl.

My friend Adam Selman is a great dressmaker. I met him on a Dolly Parton shoot, and he designs a lot of things for me. I like industrial zippers, elastic, and embellishments like rickrack and pom-poms and ruffles and bows. I definitely have some dresses that I'm too old for, like my Anna Sui and Betsey Johnson clothes from the '80s. I still like showing some leg because I've gotten compliments on my legs my whole life, and if you have a nice feature, you should show it off. I never got into exposing my stomach, but it would be fun. I once asked Adam to make me something with beige fabric around the waist so it would look like skin. He said, "No, I'm not doing that for you." I guess I need people to keep me in check sometimes.

"Pretty" doesn't register with me anymore. I just want to look presentable, like I made an effort. But pretty—it's like, why bother? I just don't think of myself that way. When I go to events and see all these other people who had a stylist dress them and who got their hair and makeup done professionally, I feel embarrassed even trying to look pretty. I always wind up thinking I look like John Mellencamp or a young Robert Blake.

In my everyday life, when I'm not going to an event or anything, I usually dress like a cross between a scarecrow and the person who sells Christmas trees. I've worn the same three pairs of jeans since 1999. The designer Todd Oldham gave them to me. They used to be his, so they were already old when I got them; he dropped the waistband for me so that they fit. They're all tattered, and I just get them constantly stitched up over and over—there's more patch now than jean. I have a friend who sews them for me, and I recently asked her if she could line them, so she took them apart and applied a fresh piece of denim underneath. It's almost like old jeans on top of new jeans now. It feels like I'm wearing a quilted diaper.

When I'm 90, I'll wear elastic-waist jeans and some-thing like a sailor hat. I don't wear hats now, but older women can get away with that kind of stuff. That's why I like to play older people—it's almost like I can't wait to age. But maybe when I get older, I'll start wanting to play younger people. In my early 100s, if I live that long, I'll start dressing like a teenager. That will be really crazy.

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