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  • Getting along with your bridal party
    publié le 26/01/2015 à 06:49

    When it comes to your relationship with your bridal party, chances are you are expecting sunshine and rainbows. After all, these are your closest and most trusted friends that you asked to be a part of your wedding day.

    Truth be told, however, I’ve found wedding planning can cause tension not only with your soon-to-be-spouse and immediate family, but the pressure can start to put pressure on your friendships as well.

    Such was the case with a friend I met for lunch last week.

    Mandy and Ryan file for divorce just weeks before wedding anniversary [Wireimage]

    Pictures: formal dresses perth

    The bride was at her wits end, frustrated by the bickering between herself and her bridesmaids. The bridesmaids felt she was turning into a “bridezilla,” while the bride felt like her bridesmaids had let her down and neglected their “responsibilities.” After hearing her out, I gathered that both parties were slightly at fault for the disagreements. To help you avoid the same headaches, here is some advice for both the happy couple and their attendants.

    For the bride and groom: Be appreciative of the support your bridal party gives you. Although you expect your closest friends, whom you’ve asked to be in your wedding, to be supportive and help you with planning your big day, bottom line is they don’t have to do any such thing. You shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Thank your bridal party, and thank them often. After all, they are your right hand men (and women) who are helping to host your dream wedding. A heart-felt thank you (or 10) will go a long way as your bridal party shells out cash and suffers hot glue gun burns in the name of your nuptials.

    Remember they have lives outside of your wedding. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be considerate of the lives of your bridal party members. While your wedding may be priority number one on your list, chances are your bridal party is sacrificing other “top priorities” to make room in their schedules to accommodate you. Try to give as much notice as possible for meetings or if and when you need their help. And don’t forget to keep your bridal party’s budget in mind. You may be unknowingly asking them to make the difficult decision of paying their rent or buying the $300 bridesmaid dress you chose.

    Don’t ask too much of them. I had a rule for myself when planning my wedding: if the activity didn’t create quality time and I could easily do it myself, I didn’t burden my bridal party. While it’s great to have help, and chances are your bridal party would love to be involved, asking them to participate in every menial task associated with your wedding planning may become tedious and annoying to you bridal party. And chances are your friends won’t have the heart to ask you to back off before they reach their breaking point. To help avoid unnecessary stress, be aware of just how much you are asking your bridal party to do.

    Stop micromanaging. Tell your bridal party what you need done, not how to do it. That’s the best way to avoid micromanaging. Don’t stand over their shoulders critiquing how they positioned rhinestones, curled their hair or tied their bow ties. Give a little slack and realize that just because it isn’t how you would do it, doesn’t mean it’s not a good (or even better) way. If it’s truly imperative that a task be done just right, do it yourself, hire someone else, or at least let your bridal party know in advance. And don’t be upset if they turn down your request for help on something that is outside their skill/talent level.

    For the bridal party: If you offer to help, mean it. “Let me know if you need any help!” We’ve all said those words countless times. In fact, we’re all guilty of having said it without really meaning it, “knowing” that the person we were talking to would probably never ask for our help. I know I’ve done it. We’re human. It’s the polite thing to do. Except if you’re in a bridal party.

    If you offer help to the bride and groom, expect they’ll take you up on it at any moment. Of course, the bride and groom should take your busy schedule into account, but you should also be ready to roll up your sleeves and get to work. If you aren’t, you should reconsider saying “yes” to being in the bridal party.

    Listen when he or she needs to vent. I get it: listening to someone talk about their wedding day in and day out is tedious and annoying. Believe me, I love weddings and help plan many of them, and I still get to the point where I just want to press the mute button. But having been on the other side of that dilemma, sometimes you (the bride or groom) just needs to talk. There is a lot going on in their lives right now (not that there isn’t in yours, too) and they really need a friend to hear them out. Presumably, you agreed to be in the bridal party because you love and care about your friend, even if they are complaining about the color of roses for the 16th time.

    Play mediator, not devil’s advocate. There is a time and a place for devil’s advocate. When your friend goes on a long rant about how unfair it is that they can’t take home that second un-touched bowl of unlimited soup from your favorite lunch spot is a great time to add fuel to the fire to spark a lively debate. When your friend is on the verge of uninviting his or her mother to the wedding because she wants to wear white to the reception is not one of those times. When the bride or groom is having a bad day or frustrated with someone, the best way you can help is to talk them through the situation and try to mediate and diffuse the anger.

    See more at bridesmaid dresses

    (0) commentaires
    tags :brides, wedding


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