The engagement rings are sparkling which means when this summer rolls around wedding invitations will arrive. Every time I go to a wedding I think about one I was at a while back. I hadn’t known the bride very long so I was surprised, but happy, to be invited.

My husband was out of town so I went by myself. I was seated on the bride’s side in the church and thought it was curious I didn’t know a single person in the sanctuary. The church filled up, the music started and the procession began. When everyone stood and turned to look at the bride, I thought, “Oh Lord, I am at the wrong wedding.” Who is that? Where am I?

But once my new friend under the veil got closer and I saw her smile, I was relieved because I was where I was supposed to be. The problem was she didn’t look anything like herself. And no, I’m not going to tell you who the bride was. But she was, and still is, very pretty. She usually wears just a touch of makeup and styles her medium length hair in a smooth, casual bob.

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But, boy, the day of the wedding she had been worked over by a team of makeup artists and hairstylists or maybe her bridal attendants. Her hair was darker and put up on top of her head in giant, stiff curls. They had arched her eyebrows so she looked a bit startled. Her lips were a bright pink and so were her eyelids. The same eyelids had fake eyelashes glued to them. Unfortunately the lashes were as thick as paintbrushes.

I glanced at the groom and he seemed to be stunned at the change in his soon-to-be-wife’s look.

A couple months later when we were looking at the wedding photos she said, “What was I thinking? What were they thinking? My pink eyelids look like my allergies were killing me. My eyebrows will never be the same.”

The moral here is while you want to look beautiful on your wedding day you want to look like you. A trial run with the hair and makeup people is a great idea. Find one your trust and talk to them.

“You always want to listen to your client,” said Sean Conklin, lead artist for MUD Make-up. He was in town recently to teach a few classes at Eric Fisher Academy. I sat in on one of the classes and realized in the first few minutes many of us have been making the same makeup mistakes for years.

For example, Conklin advises applying blush from the outside in. In other words from the hairline toward the nose. “But don’t go crazy with it,” he warned.

He explained the arch of your eyebrows should be at the outer edge of your iris. I couldn’t wait to get in the car, flip down the mirror, to see how far off I was.

Bonnie Enns-Probst, of All About Faces in Wichita, says it’s frustrating when she finishes the makeup on a bride, then the bride adds to it. “Their makeup is done. They look beautiful, perfect for the wedding and the photos. But they get out their bronzer and they go to town. They’ve got bronzer wands as big as brooms,” Enns-Probst said. “They want a glow, but they look like they’ve been dipped.”

She agrees with Conklin about listening to your client. “What some people don’t understand is it takes a lot of makeup for a natural look,” she said. “Lighting, the color of the dress, it all has to be considered,” she said.

Brides, it is your day and of course you want to look your best. But to keep your future children from making fun of your wedding pictures, remember your best is to look like yourself.

Oh and guys, careful with the day-before-your-wedding haircut. I have a story about a groom who went to a barber college in Arkansas for “just a trim” the day before he got hitched. His bride was so mad about his “sidewalls” she said she nearly filed for divorce before marrying him.

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